Sunday, December 13, 2015

Where I tell myself to shut the Hell up!

This weekend seemed like a wash to me. I had some sort of stomach bug and never seemed to feel 100%. I missed one the best Christmas parties with some great friends. I had dropped the kid off at my parents and should have had quite a good time with little responsibilities. I ended up staying home with Netflix and the dogs instead.
Then Sunday happened and I had committed to working the Angel Tree with my Sunday School class. I rushed to grab the kid and we went to the mall where I locked my keys in the car. Furious with myself, I called a locksmith after exhausting all other avenues and being angry at myself for not having a hidden key or having the garage door keypad fixed. So forty dollars lighter and later I was in the car rushing the kid to a birthday party at the trampoline place. I was so looking forward to being home for that hour and a half before picking kid up and dropping him off for youth group.

All weekend long I had an inner monologue of whining. Inner that sometimes went outer besides normally being a fairly optimistic person. I complained that my stomach hurt, I complained that my straighened hair was now wavy from standing in the rain while the lock was 'popped', I complained that I had to be a glorified taxi service, I complained that I committed to work the Angel Tree. I'll set that right there and let that last one sink in. The Salvation Army Angel Tree where kids are asking for socks and underwear and I am complaining about a 1.5 hour shift. What an ass.

That's when it dawned on me that I was complaining about an awful lot and not thanking for all the good things. I had gotten a message from a sweet friend that she wanted to bring me homemade cupcakes, I had a car to lock myself out of, I had the $40 to pay the locksmith, I have a beautiful child who has a rich life full of people who love him and want to be around him, I have a home with a keypadded garage to complain about, I have so very much to be thankful for and not a lot, if anything to complain about.

What I had been griping about were not huge by anyone's standards. They are called nuisances and are nothing to complain about. If anything, they are things to laugh about and move on. I locked my keys in my car, seriously? For someone with OCD I suppose if anything that's just a symptom to slow down and pay attention. Also time to slow down and realize that you're not perfect. It's also the perfect time to tell myself to shut the Hell up and get over yourself.

I have friends who are dealing with real issues such as sickness and loss. Issues that aren't going anywhere anytime soon. They would love for the worst part of their day to be one chauffeuring their child from place to place or locking their keys in their car.

So today is officially the day for me to shut the Hell up unless it is to say thank you or how can I help.

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